clogged humor pore

Yesterday, I took the dogs fishing. By the end of the afternoon, I realized I hadn't actually done much fishing at all.

1) Go fishing.

2) Don't take your dogs with you if you go fishing.

3) Give up on fishing because two dogs is like having ten undisciplined toddlers.

4) Play with your dogs.

5) Sit and think... 

6) ...think about how everything is well in your mind and your own world.

Instead, I played with the dogs. I sat. And I just thought about how quiet and well everything finally feels inside my own head.

I didn't need to hunt for clarity out there on the water; it was already waiting for me to catch up. For the longest time, I was overthinking the past, suffocating under a heavy sigh. But at 52, I’ve realized I am not starting over. I am just me again—the version of myself I lost track of back in 2015. I am done pretending to be someone else for the sake of someone else. I am done walking on eggshells.

I have my peace now, and I’ve sealed the door behind it. I am no longer afraid of being alone.

The Road Through the Trauma

Breakups are devastating. Being thrown out of a home after nine years was a profound mental trauma, and watching myself get replaced so quickly was a bitter pill to swallow. For months, I fought obsessive thoughts, trying to convince myself I was over her, only to hit wall after wall of mental setbacks.

But healing happens in the quiet spaces. One day, I noticed I hadn't thought of her in hours. Then a full day went by. Then she stopped feeling central to my life. I became free without even realizing it.

A Note to My Single Friends

If you take anything from my story, let it be this: Stop romanticizing the person who didn’t choose you.

Stop longing for the person who didn’t show up, who made you question your worth, and who broke your heart. Let them go. You were not put on this earth to orbit someone who decided to stop loving you. Let it be a lesson. Let it be a chapter. But do not call them the great love of your life.

You are the great love of your life.

You are meant for so much more than longing for someone who discarded you.

Conclusion

Life is short, and at our age, the runway gets a little shorter every day. Don't waste another second on expired energy. Spend your time with people who respect you, and whom you respect in return. And when you are by yourself, embrace it. Find it on a bike ride, a long walk, or in the stillness of a slow morning.

If you want to go fishing, go fishing. But if you end up just sitting on the beach watching your dogs play, that's fine too. Sometimes the best thing you can catch is your breath.